Today; I was was 50' in the air--at the end of a crane boom, hard hat on, hair blowing in the wind, swinging in a steel basket... We were out at Kleiner Park in Meridian doing some maintenance & I had to go up with Jeff to help.
It was a strange feeling to realize that I wasn't scared anymore...swinging in the wind, about to freeze to death; but not afraid.
I remember this summer: the first time I went up in the lift: I was terrified...shaking so bad I was dropping things & clinging to the side as if my life depended on it... I was better the next couple times; at least able to function, but still scared to death.
Not sure what was different today, but I wasn't nervous in the least... Maybe part of it was the trust I have in the crew I was with: Waz is one of the best crane operators I've ever met & Jeff is afraid of nothing & capable of pretty much anything: with a smile & easy laugh... Maybe it was because I had done it before...maybe it was because J was standing below smiling up at me...idk
It was an odd revelation; standing there in the wind, looking out over the construction site on Eagle & Fairview from above. I felt different than I did this summer: so many things in my life have changed in the past year--huge, life altering, painful, scary changes... But I made it through them & am stronger & better for the journey...I'm a different person than I was a year ago & I'm grateful.
I feel as though things are moving in a new direction these days & I'm excited about the possibilities: change is in the air again, & I know it's going to bring a lot of good things with it.
I'm not afraid anymore---to stand in the wind & face it: to feel the cold air blowing against me & know that I am strong enough to embrace that which gives my soul freedom, & let all the rest be carried away in the breeze...
btw: the pics are from this summer: didnt get any from today; it was stormy, cold & snowing by the time we left, lol :)